Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver opens with a parody of The Silence of the Lambs. FBI Agent Clarissa Darling (Laura Kachergus) has been sent to the Scientific Research Institute for the study of Homicidal Baked Goods to investigate the dreaded Gingerdead Cookie (voiced by William Butler). I'm not making this up. Darling reveals that she's the sister of one of Gingerdead's previous victims and is hellbent on getting revenge. Before she can do so though, a group of animal right's activists break in and release all the criminal baked goods. Gingerdead, stumbling upon a "Time Travel Studies" room, breaks in and uses the time traveling device to transport back to a Roller Disco Beauty Pageant in 1976. The owner of the club (Jackie Beat) has been forced to shut to the roller rink due to taxes (It's nice that in a film like this they're able to throw in some sociopolitical commentary), which means since it'll likely be the last roller derby for the club, everyone's gonna make it count... and a lot of people are gonna die... by a four inch tall cookie.
You might have a different experience watching this. I, on the other hand, almost checked myself into rehab. This film is such a bad film of gargantuan proportions that it actually started at bad, looped back to funny and then managed to stretch its way back to bad. Now to be completely fair, this film doesn't take itself seriously. From the very first scene when you see all the crazy, homicidal bakery treats, I don't know how you could take this seriously. Also considering the enormous portions of pot, shrooms and acid that were, no doubt, consumed by the filmmakers during the pre-production, production and then post-production, it's impossible to even assume they took this seriously. Despite lampooning classics such as The Silence of the Lambs and Carrie, the jokes fall flat; in fact, it falls flat so hard it leaves a crater behind. That being said, the jokes are executed so horribly bad you wind up laughing anyway. I'm not sure if that was their intention or not, but either way it's like witnessing Ronald McDonald having an embolism, and as terrible as that would be, who wouldn't laugh at the sight of that? I do have to point out four things that I noticed. I had no idea gingerbread men were that hung (Okay, five things). Two, do all car washes have barrels of hydrochloric acid conveniently placed nearby? Three, this is I believe the millionth film to feature the odd, unattractive girl that when the glasses come off - Holy shit!!!! She's smoking hot!!!!!!!! Four, if it is true that back when the club owner was a roller skater, she could've somehow prevented Pearl Harbor from happening by not skating... well, as an American she should be ashamed. You traitorous bitch! Finally, if it is true that the atrocities caused by Adolf Hitler, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer and Lizzie Borden were simply 'cause they were possessed by homicidal baked goods... Actually, that one makes sense. If you've ever seen Ken Burns's documentary The War on WWII, there's a deleted scene with Hitler screaming "The Muffin Man" song at the concentration camp prisoners. Probably blatant propaganda created by a bunch of vegan health freak filmmakers... or just a screenplay written by a guy that's - Dude, like so fucking high. Since this is the third film of the series, do you need to see the first two in order for this one to make any sense? Who really gives a shit?
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