Damn you, Hitchcock!!!! Yeah, don't adjust your monitor. What you were seeing was actually happening. In Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Rod (Alan Bagh) is a software salesman living successfully in Silicon Valley. One day he reunites with an old high school friend, Natalie (Whitney Moore), who is aspiring to be a fashion model. They start dating and things are going well for the both of them... That is, until the town is under attack by birds and not just any birds. These are birds that can somehow hover in midair without flapping their wings.
As the story progresses, we soon learn that this bird attack was all a part of global warming and that the real danger "was the humans and their fossil fuels." Normally, I'd tell you just to skip this self-important pile of preachy bull shit. It not only beats you over the head with its environmental message hammer, it bludgeons you to death with it. However, holy hell, this is such a horribly made film, you really have to stop and watch this car crash. I could go on and on about the groundbreaking special effects, but I'll start with the acting - well, I should say the lack thereof... Wow, I've heard of wooden acting, but this is just bad. There's a date scene held at a restaurant where Alan Bagh can't even talk about how his day went without sounding awkward. This isn't an emotional death scene. This isn't a big, rally the troops type speech. You're just talking about how your day went. Then we have the editing and whoever put these scenes together is either horrible at his job or he was told he has thirty minutes to put everything together. At least the latter's the excuse he probably tells people. That restaurant conversation scene is broken up into I don't know how many choppy scene cuts when one continuous shot would've worked just fine. Then again, Bagh and Moore probably couldn't memorize more than one line at a time. When you witness their acting talent, you'll realize that's not that far-fetched of a theory. The dialogue is garbage. I wouldn't be surprised if those bird effects weren't actually effects, but just stickers they stuck on the lens of the camera, while the crew hammers away on some kazoos in the background for the sound effects. The acting is so bad you'll probably laugh yourself into a hernia and the editing and direction is just piss poor and sloppy. In fact, I don't even think they edited this. I bet they just did a technique I used to do back when I was in highschool: just take a camcorder, film every scene in sequence, pop the VHS tape out, and voila! There's your movie. The only reason this isn't worse than The Room, is that this film had a plot that I at least got. It's utter crap, but it's understandable crap all explained by that "one guy" that explains everything and everyone buys it 'cause he's a scientist. Best worst moment: the former marine turned "Why can't we just give peace a chance" activist telling Rod to hand him his machine gun he has conveniently located in the back of his van so he can start shooting the birds. Don't worry. He also has a pistol for Rod to use too.
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