Delivery Man

Cast of Characters:

David Wozniak - Vince Vaughn

Brett - Chris Pratt

Emma - Cobie Smulders

Director - Ken Scott

Screenplay - Ken Scott

Based on the original screenplay Starbuck by Ken Scott & Martin Petit

Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, sexual content, some drug material, brief violence and language

      Vince Vaughn stars in the American remake of the French-Canadian original film Starbuck, Delivery Man... This man anonymously sired 533 children. Can you "job security", Maury Povich?

      David Wozniak (Vince Vaughn) is your typical middle-aged loser. He's an inept delivery driver for his father's meat company, constantly getting parking tickets. His girlfriend Emma (Cobie Smulders) is pregnant with their children, yet she wants to go through it solo 'cause she feels David's uncommitted and irresponsible and he's also a hundred grand in debt to loan sharks.

      David's life grows more complicated when he's told by a fertility clinic's attorney (who somehow just helps himself inside when David's not home) that years ago he anonymously donated sperm enough times to sire 533 children. I'm surprised David isn't wearing sunglasses, sporting a walking stick, with a seeing eye dog next to him. Despite the fact that David did sign confidentiality agreements with the clinic, 142 of the kids are suing to have his identity revealed to them. Needing help, David seeks the counsel of his friend Brett (Chris Pratt), a lawyer who takes on his case. He hands David an envelope containing the identity files of his children and warns him, "DO NOT OPEN IT!!" Yes, but like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know what happens when you tell someone "DO NOT ____".

      It's a fairly gutsy move by Disney to open this the same weekend another small film based on a certain book series is guaranteed to rake in at least 100 million, especially considering the marketing campaign for this film was - eh, whatever. Then again, Mickey probably feels since the rest of his movies this year brought in at least a billion worldwide, he was gonna wipe his ass with the money used for this film anyway. There's really not much surprise here. You know what you're gonna get. It's the same old song and dance of a loser that is handed one hell of an extraordinary circumstance that makes him realize the true meaning of life. If this film was made 60-70 years ago, Jimmy Stewart would be playing him. Actually, he did. It's called It's a Wonderful Life, a sentimental film, of course, that never beat you upside the head with its sugary sweetness like this film does. Oh, yes, believe me, this film has enough sap to kick your ass out of the theater and even this galaxy. That's not the problem though. The problem is Ken Scott (who co-wrote and directed the original) has his tone all over the map. This film doesn't know whether it wants to be funny, sentimental or serious. You look at the poster and you expect a dopey comedy. I mean, look at it. Vince Vaughn standing there all "Aww, shucks!" with his hands in his pocket, shrugging his shoulders and surrounded by a ton of his kids. It screams, "Oh, boy! What zany, crazy, wacky antics did Vaughn do this time?!" Then, once the movie gets a rolling and he's meeting (or stalking) his first daughter, we're hit with a dark turn when she nearly ODs on drugs (a rather dark subject that is just left open-ended like it didn't happen to begin with). We also get a few yank the hell out of your heartstrings 'til they're torn to pieces moments when David also visits one of his kids who's living in a home for the disabled. I haven't even gotten to the questions this film left me with. 1) 142 kids seeking his identity. We never meet a single one of their mothers. They have to have one, obviously and a good one at that. When even the drug addict is someone that I would date in a heartbeat, you know they had to have had a strong support system growing up. Where exactly is she? 2) Why would the fertility clinic use David's sperm 533 times? Is he the only one donating? Yeah, I get it. We get the "It was a mixup." excuse... Yeah, sure. 3) A lot of the people seem to be awfully supportive of David as he's meeting his children. One nurse states that he did an great job today, when in reality she probably would've asked him where the hell has he been all this time?

      It's a flawed film. It's a very flawed film, but it's harmless and hardly the worst film I've seen this year. It tries to be something a la Frank Capra with its heartwarming message, but comes up short in doing so. While I do appreciate Vaughn turning in a much more restrained performance than we're used to seeing from him and Chris Pratt (great in Moneyball and Zero Dark Thirty) has the chops for comedy, this film just comes off as too uneven for me to recommend. I give Delivery Man a C- (★★).

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