Escape Plan

Cast of Characters:

Ray Breslin - Sylvester Stallone

Emil Rottmayer - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Willard Hobbs - Jim Caviezel

Hush - Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson

Drake - Vinnie Jones

Dr. Emil Kyrie - Sam Neill

Lester Clark - Vincent D'Onofrio

Abigail Ross - Amy Ryan

Director - Mikael Hafstrom

Screenplay - Miles Chapman & Jason Keller

Rated R for violence and language throughout

      Rambo & Terminator, Rocky & Conan, Tango & Dutch, Judge Dredd & Junior: it's the two most iconic action stars of the past thirty years teaming up as the leads. Academy Award nominees Sylvester Stallone and Amy Ryan, Jim "Jesus" Caviezel Vincent D'Onofrio, Vinnie Jones, and Arnold Schwarzenegger star in Escape Plan... Jingle All the Way & Joe the Lion from Zookeeper - last one, I swear.

      I don't recall such an extreme form of ministry ever in the Gospels. Ray Breslin (Sylverster Stallone) is a former prosecutor who now co-owns Breslin-Clark - an Los Angeles based security firm specializing in maximum security prison reliability - with Lester Clark (Vincent D'Onofrio). Breslin can break out of any prison in the country and does so to show each prison their weaknesses. One day, he and Clark are offered a multimillion dollar deal from the CIA to test a top-secret prison that is "off the grid" from the government... Yep, seems legit.

      Upon agreeing to the deal, Breslin is taken into custody where he is to meet Warden Marsh. Instead he meets Warden Willard Hobbs (Jim Caviezel). Uh-oh, I smell a set up brewing! Realizing he has been set up, Breslin befriends fellow prisoner Emil Rottmayer (Arnold Schwarzenegger), who he feels can help him break out of the prison.

      Escape Plan was obviously a film marketer's wet dream, getting to plaster STALLONE/SCHWARZENEGGER... TOGETHER!!!! on every trailer, TV spot, magazine and internet ad in the past six months. Sure, on paper Stallone and Schwarzenegger co-headlining an action-prison break movie looks appealing, but is it really? Well, it would if it wasn't for the fact that it's tedious at times and highly implausible. Do I need documented scientific facts and logical conclusions? No, this is an action film and that's what we should get. Nothing more, but also nothing less and the fact is we get less than what we expect and need from a film like this. Of course, we get the typical stock of villains in prison break films: the evil warden, the vicious and brutal prison guard and the enemy prisoner that ends up joining Stallone and Schwarzenegger's side. Both Stallone and Schwarzenegger have a natural chemistry together that clearly comes easily to them. The problem is that while everyone else seems to be having fun with their roles, Stallone plays it straight. Stallone has proven himself a good actor before when he puts the effort into it. It's not his performance that's flawed here, it's that his performance is off balance from the tone this film should set, and the more ludicrous the story gets, the harder it is to buy such a straightforward, serious role from him. Is it far fetched to believe that he once was a prosecutor? No, not at all... but did you know he also is an expert at physics, engineering and cartography? Schwarzenegger is clearly having a ball here, and I couldn't help but be reminded how much of a fun screen presence he was before he became the Governator. He certainly won't be racking up the Oscar acting noms (of which Stallone can at least brag about), but it's still great to have Arnie back in full swing. Vinnie Jones is never a bad choice when you want a ripped and grunting behemoth running your prison security and it's been awhile since I saw Caviezel onscreen, but it's good to see him again. It was also ironic to hear a character say to him, "You're the Devil!" It's like he's come full circle in the realm of spiritual heroes and foes.

      Escape Plan has its moments of fun. There's an entertaining interrogation scene between Schwarzenegger and Caviezel that got me laughing and there's a couple of good one liners here and there, it's just a shame the fun and excitement you wanna see here can't rise above the film's mediocrity. If you're looking for a great prison break film, rent either Escape From Alcatraz or The Shawshank Redemption. More fittingly, you could also rent either of The Expendables films which feature both Stallone and Schwarzenegger. It was close for me, but I'm gonna have to lean toward pass here. I give Escape Plan a C- (★★).