What the Hell Were They Thinking?!

      Hello, readers. We're now week two into October's month of horror, and tonight's pick is a horror film franchise Jennifer Aniston can only wish she could take back any part she once had in it. This pick isn't the first film of the series she was in, it's the fifth. If you thought it couldn't get any more bizarre with the fourth entry set in space... think again.

      Leprechaun: In the Hood begins with Mack Daddy O'Nassas (Ice-T) finding the Leprechaun (Warwick Davis) and stealing his magic flute. Although the Leprechaun is temporarily able to break free from the spell he's under, Mack Daddy imprisons him again. 20 years later, Mack Daddy, thanks to the flute, has become a hit record producer. Wannabe L.A. rappers Postmaster P. (A.T. Montgomery), Stray Bullet (Rashaan Nall) and Butch (Red Grant), try to get a deal through Mack Daddy, but he turns them down. Wanting to get back at Mack Daddy, the three break into his office and steal the flute, but also unwittingly set the Leprechaun free. Do I really need to explain more?

      So, there's really only one fitting way to describe this... Ahem...

      Come one, come all, boys and girls

      Gather round the silver screen

      As we watch Warwick Davis, yes, good ole Willow

      Fight and struggle for relevancy

      We've now reached film five, believe it, it's true

      For God's sakes, view at your own peril

      For I think by now they've finally found

      The very bottom of that scraped barrel

      The best performance from this D-list cast

      By far is the rapper Ice-T

      Misconstrue my words, you might

      'Tis perspective not compliment, you see

      'Tis shit dialogue, the scares don't scare

      The jokes, how flat they do fall

      But wait, it gets better, Coolio arrives

      For apparently no reason at all

      There's plot holes and trannies, zombie girls, a blind granny

      An Irish midget that loves his "bomb" reefer

      By the time you see Leprechaun rapping at the end

      You might think you're as high as the writer    

      Acting so wooden, effects so damn cheesy

      And tone so back and forth uneven

      But like Lep gives a damn, he's the "Real OG"

      Getting checks from Harry Potter 1-7