Machete Kills

Cast of Characters:

Machete Cortez - Danny Trejo

Luz/She - Michelle Rodriguez

Madame Desdemona - Sofia Vergara

Miss San Antonio - Amber Heard

El Chameleon 4 - Antonio Banderas

El Chameleon 2 - Cuba Gooding, Jr.

El Chameleon 1 - Walton Goggins

Sheriff Doakes - William Sadler

Cereza - Vanessa Hudgens

Sartana Rivera - Jessica Alba

La Chameleon - Lady Gaga

President Rathcock - Charlie Sheen

Mendez - Demian Bichir

Luthor Voz - Mel Gibson

Director - Robert Rodriguez

Screenplay - Kyle Ward

Rated R for strong bloody violence throughout, language and some sexual content

      Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Amber Heard, Charlie Sheen and Academy Award winners Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Mel Gibson star in schlock film master Robert Rodriguez's sequel to the 2010 hit Machete, Machete Kills. 

      Hey, looks like all the Mexicans love Mandy Lane too! And, whoo! Who can blame 'em? Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) is back, this time recruited by US President Rathcock (Charlie Sheen) to stop madman Mexican revolutionary Mendez (Demian Bichir) from launching a missile aimed at Washington, D.C. To help Machete, the president enlists Miss San Antonio (Amber Heard), an undercover federal agent.

      Machete soon finds out there's more to this threat when he finds out Mendez is working for international arms dealing terrorist Luthor Voz (Mel Gibson), who has launched a conspiracy to start riots across the world.

      Who does schlock better than Rodriguez? From Dusk Till Dawn, Planet Terror and this film's predecessor Machete are just three great examples of his tip of the hat to the 70's schlock genre. There's really nothing here to be taken seriously and if you do then you've missed the point of this film entirely. The point of this film is ridiculous fun and although it has its flaws, it does provide the viewer with a fun time. Like any Rodriguez film nowadays, you expect to see stars and like his friend Tarantino, Rodriguez has managed to always land big celebrities from Bruce Willis, Elijah Wood, Clive Owen and Mickey Rourke, former big stars from prior decades now lining up to take anything such as Steven Seagal, Rutger Hauer, Michael Biehn, and Don Johnson to Oscar winners Robert De Niro and now Mel Gibson. Like any his projects, the cast delivers and it's not that you're expecting Oscar caliber work from anyone. They just show up and have fun with the material. Danny Trejo (who owes his life and soul to Rodriguez) has been one of Rodriguez's go-to guys along with Cheech Marin and makeup artist Tom Savini (who shows up here as well). For the most part, he's always been that "one guy with the familiar face" who dies within the first 20-30 minutes, but he sure fits the part of Machete. He doesn't get much dialogue that goes beyond one sentence each ("Machete don't tweet!"), but it's hard to imagine anyone else in this type of role. The problem with the film though ironically happens to also be one of the fun aspects of the film: there's too much going on with the supporting crew. Hey, I love seeing Sofia Vergara in skimpy attire shooting bullets out of a steel bra as much as any other hormone driven guy. You could take her out of the script and the story still flows. The same could be said about the "El/La Chameleon" character. Cuba Gooding, Jr. is a great actor and I think it's unfortunate that he gets a bad wrap 'cause he has picked more than his fair share of horrible movies and where the hell has Antonio Banderas been at lately? Once again, though, take them out of the film, the story can still flow. That said, other supporting characters do work. Amber Heard managed to age seven years from Tuesday when I saw All the Boys Love Mandy Lane to Friday when I saw this film and she has a hilarious sight gag during a sex scene with Machete. It would've been funnier if it wasn't for the fact that I was slightly pissed someone that looks like Danny Trejo can get someone that looks like Amber Heard. Charlie Sheen (credited here with his birth name Carlos Estevez) has a ball poking fun at his bad boy image. Demian Bichir is great in easily the most allowable over-the-top performance out of the entire cast, and of course, there's Mel Gibson. Now, I've been and still am a Gibson defender, not for what he's done, but 'cause of the fact that, seriously, he's not the first celebrity to do or say something very stupid (Robert Downey, Jr. anyone?). I've said and hand signaled worse to the idiot driver in front of me on my way to work a couple days ago. I'm just smart enough not to have it leaked to TMZ, but dumb enough to tell you all on blogger.com. Rant aside, I thought it was great seeing him again. It's not a "comeback" role. That would be The Beaver two ago, but Gibson goes all out, chews the scenery and say what you want about him, of course. What you can't say is that he can't act, and he's a lot of fun here as the Bond-esque villain. Makes me curious to see how he does now as the villain in the next Expendables movie. Then again, if you're clearly without sin, you may wanna avoid this.

      This doesn't rank up there with Sin City and Planet Terror (my two favorite Rodriguez films), and it doesn't quite sit up there with its predecessor, but it could've been worse. We could've gotten a sequel to The Faculty or another Spy Kids film. In spite of the unnecessary subplots and characters, though, there's no denying that everyone involved is having a great time here and that's evident onscreen. You can't blame the performers for that. Some will hate the goofiness of this film, but it's hard to critique a film on being ridiculous when that's the film's intention. I wish we could've gotten more Machete and less needless characters 'cause he is the main character. The title says so and we all just wanna see Trejo fling that machete around and chop body parts up. It's still provides some entertaining popcorn fun and if you're up for the ride it's worth a Friday night rental or even a weekend matinee. I give Machete a B (★★★).

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